I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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