so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
