when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
