weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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