small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
