Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize