Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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