im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize