Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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