if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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