I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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