I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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