i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
