My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
porn star boner night. come get it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
