He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
