I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
