okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
