Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
