I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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