If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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