she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
