Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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