Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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