Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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