I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
