sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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