Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Do vagina's smell?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
