I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
