Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
