oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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