She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
