OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
