I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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