i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize