he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
