is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
