I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
