Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
