Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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