We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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