I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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