I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
