Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
