he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
