I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
