Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
