I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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