508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
