I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
