dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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