He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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