when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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