Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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