Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
