NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
