and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
