ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
