Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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