Betty ford says i'm here all night
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
